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In recovery whether it be from alcohol, drugs,
sex or food, H.A.L.T. has been used to stand for the feelings
Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. These are important feelings
to avoid for the recovering sex addict. Simply put, keep yourself
eating regularly, not allowing yourself to get too hungry.
Hunger may make
you more susceptible to less logical thinking. Some researchers
believe that eating certain foods can help you in recovery. A
book that discusses this aspect of recovery is Help Yourself,
by Joel Robertson published by Thomas Nelson Publishing.
Anger can sneak
up on you quickly and put you in an emotional state of, "I'll
show her." Which could lead you to rationalize why it might
be okay to act out. Some sex addicts have a whole system where
they purposely start a fight with their partner, leave, act out
and come back later justifying their acting out behavior because
they were "Angry." If anger is a problem, be sure to
refer to the exercise in 101 Practical Exercises on Anger Work.
Anger can be an important piece of managing your recovery.
Lonely is a
difficult feeling for the sex addict to handle. Feeling alone
can make the sex addict feel vulnerable to want to medicate the
feeling by acting out. Having an action plan or an "I will
do" list available in your wallet for when you feel lonely
may be helpful. Some other suggestions are:
1. Go to a public place such as a mall or
restaurant.
2. Call someone in the program.
3. Plan ahead to avoid your alone time gaps
such as weekends or when your partner may be out of town.
4. Exercise.
5. Help someone else with a project.
6. Go to a meeting, church or other social
gathering.
7. Pray.
8. Ask others what they do when they feel
this way.
Being "Tired" in your busy,
fast paced life, is a familiar feeling. Tiredness can lower your
resistance to the point of "who cares." To recover,
you need to stay alert. Your sex addiction is a default program
that wants to be fully activated anytime it can find a way. To
prevent tiredness, get regular sleep and if you need to rest
here or there, take it if you can. List your action plan for
the following feelings that could trigger a relapse in your recovery. |
